A Mutual Understanding
by firefly
Summary: In which Hidan plays the empathetic ear to Hinata's lamentations in the middle of the night, in the cafeteria, over ice cream and chocolate. AU RP based crackfic.


A Mutual Understanding

By: firefly

Note (PLEASE READ): This…piece of crack is completely based on the characterizations and current on-goings of a roleplaying community called Last Stop Gakuen at Livejournal, at which I play Hidan. It was written for the lovely girl who roleplays Hinata as a gift to cheer her up, and kind of spiraled out of control and got way longer than a drabble. XD

But anyway, I'm just posting this for lulz and in an attempt to cheer up anyone else who's been in a lousy mood lately or just needs a laugh. It's crunch time at University for me, so everyone I know is pretty high-strung right now. So yeah, this is not meant to be taken seriously.

Lastly, a bit of background on the RP so you know what the hell is going on in the fic—

It takes place in a boarding school that has no teachers, no classes, and one fucked up Principal who never shows his face and makes it his mission to make everyone there miserable. Robots (yes, robots) are responsible for all cleaning, cooking, and general maintenance duties. Characters from ALL fandoms are present, so villains and good guys and all the in-betweens live in close quarters. They are all immortal, so everyone kind of really reluctantly gets along, more or less. XD Hidan is friends with Tobi, of all people, and takes much amusement out of mentally torturing Hinata whenever he feels like it.

And that's pretty much all you need to know. :D Enjoy.

**A Mutual Understanding**

Attempting to find solace in the cafeteria had seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, it was nearly midnight and mostly everyone had gone to bed or retired to their dorm rooms.

But this was Gakuen, Hinata realized with chagrin later on. A place well known for its sheer ability to flip one's perspectives and expectations and smack them upside the head with them. Just because she'd assumed the cafeteria would be a safe haven didn't mean the school wouldn't conspire against her.

Which it did.

It was another night of self-depreciation and plummeting self-esteem after she'd spent the day in the company of Sakura. Her offhand blathering concerning Naruto and his failed attempts at getting her to go out with him, then Lee's considerate offer to help her gather first-aid materials, and even Deidara's not-so-subtle flirting all coupled to make the Hyuuga heiress feel insignificant in comparison.

Granted, Deidara flirted shamelessly with her, too, but she had the inkling that was more for his own sadistic pleasure than anything else.

Sakura was a lioness. And in comparison, Hinata felt like a field mouse.

How would Naruto ever notice her if she couldn't even muster the courage to call him out? How would he ever take her seriously if she couldn't even look him in the eye without blushing?

Morose, she'd wound up alone in the dimly lit, empty cafeteria in the middle of the night, sitting at the farthest table with a book on medicinal plants she'd borrowed from the library. She'd stopped half an hour ago at 'fenugreek,' leaving the book open on the table and resting her head against her crossed arms, staring dolefully at the chocolates and candy in the vending machines.

She didn't even have money to help eat away her misery.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and drifted into a doze, on the verge of slipping into sleep when the abrupt, obscenely loud sound of shattering glass startled her awake.

She sat upright, staring wide-eyed at the cafeteria kitchen across the room, suddenly nervous as a light flicked on, then turned off again a few minutes later. Footsteps crunched through glass, a door slammed, and a silhouette appeared outside the kitchen.

Vaguely alarmed, she wondered whether she should keep her silence or call out, then almost instantly berated herself for feeling apprehensive. Against her better judgment, she stuttered out.

"W-Who's there?"

The silhouette raised its head at the faint sound of her voice, then took a step into the dim light of a vending machine.

"Munchkin?"

Hinata felt the blood rocket to her head when she saw Hidan standing there with a blank look of surprise on his face, wearing nothing but a pair of drawstring pajama pants and holding a carton of ice cream.

"…oh," she squeaked. "I mean…good evening, Hidan-san."

He blinked and glanced around, as if checking for anyone who might have been sitting with her, then made his way over, idly swinging a baseball bat by his side.

"What the hell are you doing here alone?" he asked.

"Ah, I was…just reading," she said timidly, staring up at him as he paused in front of the table.

"In the dark?" he said dubiously. "Shit, you Hyuuga's and your fucking bionic eyes."

She laughed weakly, wincing because it sounded forced and miserable to her own ears, then lowered her eyes to her clasped hands. A moment later, she almost jumped when he dropped the carton of ice cream onto the table with a loud thump and took a seat opposite of her, resting the baseball bat against the bench.

Inwardly, she was glad of the dim light, glancing briefly at him and his lack of a shirt and feeling somewhat mortified as a blush rose uncontrollably to her face.

"Um…Hidan-san, did you break something back there?" she asked, in a vain effort to distract herself from her own embarrassment.

"Hm?" he said distractedly, busy prying open the carton. "Oh, yeah. Damn robots lock up the place after nine, so I had to break the window."

"Oh," she said blankly, sparing a glance at the baseball bat. "…just for ice cream?"

"Hey, I like my sweets, okay?"

She nodded fervently at his defensive tone and settled for silence, surprised that he hadn't taken advantage of her being alone to inflict some merciless teasing. But she wasn't a glutton for punishment and said nothing to provoke him, settling for staring at her book and pretending to read while he indulged himself in the—strawberry, she noticed with faint amusement—ice cream.

"Want any?" he asked after a moment, beckoning offhandedly to the carton.

She shook her head, then glanced yearningly at the vending machine.

"No, thank you. But…I wish I could have some chocolate."

He glanced between her and the vending machine and set down his spoon.

"Which one?"

Hinata smiled dreamily at the pristine bar at the bottom left, not really aware of herself answering. "The one with almonds…"

An instant later, she leapt back with a suppressed shriek of surprise when the vending machine's cover exploded in flying glass shards, shattering the silence. Hidan nonchalantly dropped the bat on the table and sat back down, picking up his spoon again.

"Knock yourself out, munchkin."

"T-Thank you," she stammered, sliding off the bench long enough to pluck the chocolate from the machine, then sitting back down.

They ate in silence for a while, and Hinata felt herself relax somewhat at the release of endorphins as the chocolate melted in her mouth. It almost made her forget why she was there. Almost.

"So what are you really doing here?"

She glanced up at his question, meeting his inquisitive gaze momentarily before glancing off to the side again.

"I…I was just reading, Hidan-san."

"Seriously, munchkin, you suck at lying. Why the hell would you come down here just to read about—" he stopped, grabbing her book and glancing at a page. "—gingko biloba? 'the fuck…"

Hinata bit her lower lip nervously, twiddling her thumbs in her lap and bowing her head.

"What about you, Hidan-san?"

"What about me?"

"Why are you…sitting here with me?"

"I'm just bored."

"Oh…"

"Want me to fuck off?"

Hinata shook her head vehemently, face reddening despite his casual tone.

"N-No, I…you can stay if you want…I was j-just…wondering why. I'm not all that entertaining," she mumbled, lowering her eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about? It's a fucking riot messing with your head."

Hinata grimaced slightly at his lack of consideration for her health when he'd brutally tease her. All that blushing had the potential to amount to a fatal aneurysm one day.

"But…" she said timidly. "You aren't doing that now."

He dropped his spoon into the half-empty carton and slid it out of the way, resting his elbows on the table and glancing at her with a raised brow.

"That's 'cuz you look like your dog died or something. Seriously, what's got your panties in a bunch?"

Slightly mortified by his choice of words, she glanced away, feeling her face redden once more.

She could hardly discuss the topic of Naruto with fellow girlfriends like Sakura and Tenten. The idea of relaying her self-esteem and boy issues to a man, let alone a missing nin and ex-Akatsuki was unfathomable. Especially when that man was Hidan, who probably knew next to nothing about relationship advice.

"It…wouldn't interest you, Hidan-san, really…" she mumbled.

"How about you stop assuming shit about me you don't even know, and stop the 'Hidan-san' crap for five minutes," he said flatly. "I'm bored and kinda pissed that Swirl-face fucked off with Deidara-chan somewhere, and here I am, trying to get you to talk to me, and you're just spouting bullshit."

"I-I'm sorry," she said, genuinely surprised and chagrined. "I just…feel a little embarrassed."

At that, his annoyed expression instantly cleared and was replaced by one of unadulterated horror.

"Oh God, you're not talking about some girly problem or—"

"No!" Hinata cried in mortification, reddening at the suggestion. "It's…n-not that. Hidan-san, this is very…awkward."

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes momentarily before opening them to glance at her twiddling thumbs.

"I don't mean to assume that I…know you, but...well…"

"For fuck's sake, spit it out already," he said, exasperated.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"I…have this friend. And she…"

Hinata clenched her fists before putting them on her thighs, grimacing before blurting the rest out.

"There's a boy she really likes but can't tell him that because she's shy and afraid of what he'll think."

Almost instantly, she felt lighter. Mortified and embarrassed, but _lighter_, as if someone had lifted a heavy burden from her shoulders. Hidan stared at her, taking her half-finished chocolate bar and breaking off a piece before putting it to his lips.

"This friend sounds a lot like you, munchkin."

Hinata mentally groaned as she backtracked over what she'd said, and couldn't bring herself to raise her gaze from the table.

Hidan chewed on the chocolate for a few seconds, looking vaguely uncomfortable with the subject but thoughtful all the same.

"What, is the guy a fucking psycho or something? Afraid he might kill you?"

"N-No," she squeaked, aghast. "Naruto-kun would never—"

She stopped, suddenly wishing the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Not only did she admit that _she_ was the one with self-esteem and boy issues, but she'd went ahead and blurted his name out. Her face had turned a fixed shade of red and stayed that way.

"Naruto…shit, why does that ring a bell…"

Surprise managed to overcome her embarrassment, and she glanced up briefly.

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed, smacking his hand against the table. "Red-eye and fish-face were supposed to kidnap that kid. Heh, lucky brat, would've been dead by now if they caught him."

Hinata gaped at him.

"So yeah, I've heard of him," he continued offhandedly, taking no notice of her stunned expression. "What, you like that guy, munchkin?"

He smirked.

"How fucking cute."

Hinata managed to close her mouth and ducked her head, positive that her face must have been glowing by now. She made a small noise that bordered between a squeak and a whimper, and it took every ounce of her self-control to not bolt from the table.

Her own sister Hanabi didn't even know about her crush on the Kyuubi-holder. Neji didn't know. Most of her acquaintances didn't know.

But now Hidan knew._Hidan _knew.

Oh God.

"Okay, I'll admit I don't know shit about that sorta thing," he drawled, resting his chin on his palm, idly tapping his fingers against his neck. "But seriously, what's the big deal?"

Hinata took a few moments to work up the will to speak, and when she did, her voice hardly came out audible.

"It's…difficult."

"Pfft, how hard is it to say a couple of words?" he said skeptically. "Seriously, you make it sound like it'll fucking kill you."

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"…It might."

He stared at her in silence for a while, then made a low, drawn out noise of disbelief in his throat.

"That serious? Jeez."

"I know," she whispered, miserably. "He…doesn't even know I'm alive."

"So say something, damn it."

"I…I don't know…what should I…"

"How about—hey shithead, got a minute? Listen to me before I break your face."

Hinata stared at him.

Hidan shrugged. "Always got Kakuzu's attention."

"But…but Naruto-kun, he l-likes…" Hinata bowed her head, voice softening. "He likes Sakura-san."

"Pinky?" Hidan said dubiously. "He must be fucking suicidal."

Hinata shook her head. "Naruto-kun…likes confidence. Sakura-san has that…and everything else."

"So work up some fucking confidence. Jeez, you make it sound so complicated."

"It is," she said weakly. "I just…freeze up. And stutter. And sometimes…" she glanced away, voice hardly audible, face burning with embarrassment. "Sometimes I faint."

"Doesn't it piss you off?"

"What?" she said faintly, looking surprised and raising her head.

He stared at her intently, violent eyes narrowed. "Don't you get tired of it? Why the fuck should you get shunted to the corner?"

She blinked, nodding slightly. "Sometimes…when I see how he takes Sakura-san so seriously."

"And takes everything everyone else says with a straight face but never you."

"A-And…and he never realizes how I feel."

"Overlooks it and acts like a high-and-mighty son of a bitch."

"Sometimes all he cares about is Sasuke-san…"

"And 'long-term goals' and 'money' and 'jinchuuriki' and all that bullshit."

"Sometimes I get mad…"

"It fucking pisses me off…"

"And, and Sakura-san…doesn't even appreciate his attention."

"Those other bastards don't even give a shit."

"When I…I just want him to look at me."

"And show some goddamn appreciation."

"Yes, I'm…I'm tired of it. I get angry."

"Enough's enough. That shit's gone too far."

"Why won't he look at me?"

"I'm worth something, too, damn it."

"Why am I so shy?"

"Why doesn't anyone listen to me?"

"I want to be more confident."

"I wanna make it on my own."

"I will be more confident on my own…I will."

"They can go fuck themselves."

"And…and then they'll notice."

"And feel like dumbasses for not noticing before."

"I am worth something, too. I…deserve better."

"They'll be sorry they ever treated me like shit."

"I-I feel angry. And it…it feels good."

"Makes me wanna break something."

"…Hidan-san."

"Fucking assholes, I should go and kill every fucking one of them in their sleep—"

"Hidan-san?"

"Heathen bastards—"

"Hidan-san!"

Hidan snapped out of his diatribe when Hinata's shrill voice interrupted his muttering. He stared at her in blank surprise, blinking as if he didn't realize where he was.

Face flushed from her small outburst, eyes glittering with righteous indignation and gratitude, she managed a small, wavering smile.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he said blankly.

"For…listening. You're…" she blushed, lowering her eyes. "You're much nicer than I thought you'd be."

A wry grin slowly replaced the surprised look on his face, and Hinata couldn't help but feel a surge of affection, the kind one only reserved for the rare individuals who listened to the less-than-pleasant side of things and understood what you felt.

"Hey, I'm just a nice guy," he said flippantly. "Not my fault if nobody sees it."

Hinata smiled slightly.

"I…see it. What Tobi sees in you."

He blinked, staring at her in genuine, unconcealed surprise. She thought it was an endearing look for him.

"Hey, how's it feel, getting that crap out of your system?" he asked after overcoming his surprise, looking rejuvenated. "Good, isn't it?"

Hinata took a deep breath and nodded, eyes slightly wide. "Yes. I feel…angry."

"Angry's not good enough. Say—I'm fucking pissed off."

"I'm…f-fu…oh, I can't say that."

"You'll get there, munchkin," he said with a grin, suddenly getting up from the bench and grabbing the baseball bat. "Night's young—let's go work out some aggression. How do they say it—progressive therapy or some shit."

Hinata stood up, heart hammering in her chest. "H-Hidan-san, you can't mean…"

"That's exactly what I mean, munchkin," he said, tossing her the bat.

Hinata grabbed it with a squeak and held it awkwardly, staring up at him as he picked up a crowbar propping open the window.

"B-But…the robots…won't we get in trouble?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Do I _look_ like I give a shit about what a walking trashcan thinks?"

Hinata shook her head.

"Do _you_ give a shit about what a walking trashcan thinks?"

She considered this, surprised at her own reasoning.

"N-No…they're robots, so…they can't think."

"So let's go have some fun, huh?"

"Hidan-san, I'm not sure about this…"

"What, you want the crowbar? I'll trade."

"N-No, I just…"

"You're mad, right?"

"Right…"

"You're tired of getting ignored, right?"

"I am."

"You're fucking pissed, right? Say it."

"I-I'm…I'm f-fucking pissed."

"Damn right you are. Let's go break some windows."

"…o-okay. And…break things in the Principal's office?"

"You're a girl after my own heart, seriously."

* * *

End. :D Hope that cheered some of you guys up. 


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